Hardshoe-The First 2 Steps.

The adult class is so much fun!  Nevermind the sore muscles, shin splints and blisters, you'll eventually heal.   Yesterday, at dance,  Clare introduced a new kind of pain.  Something so barbaric I started googling "Midevil torture devices" just to see if these would pop up.

I understand the heel.  It's a fiberglass heel.  Makes a beautiful sound when used on the proper flooring and makes every man, woman and child want to run out and be in Riverdance.  Forget that you've never taken a lesson in your life.  Those shoes.  They are magic.  Amazing.  They make your feet fly. 

Sorry to burst your bubble, but that's not quite how it happens.  First, you must buy those cute little shoes.  

STEP ONE: THE FITTING!

If you're lucky enough to have the "shoe nazi" fitting you, you'll be told you should buy the ones that aren't quite your size.  In fact, you're looking about 2-3 sizes smaller than your street shoe.  You scoff at "shoe nazi's" ridiculous comment and shuffle out to your instructor to see which ones she thinks fit better.   You ask your instructor, feeling confident she'll want you to get what is "comfortable", if you should get the ones that feel a little tight or the ones that cut off your circulation?  All the while trying so hard to make her choose the bigger shoe by wiggling that foot towards her a bit more and trying to point pretty.  After picking your jaw off the floor you shuffle back to "shoe nazi" and show her the meanest scowl you can (for posterity sake), then you whip out your checkbook and as you write her the enormous check...you mumble "She said the smaller ones are better."  She'll mumble something about your point not looking right, blah blah and how you would regret getting the bigger ones after a few months, blah-blah.   Anyway, about $170 dollars later you're ready to move on to step two.  

STEP TWO: STANDING UP! 

After you've figured out how to put the shoes on, you'll want to stand up.  I would suggest grabbing on to the nearest stable piece of furniture.  If one isn't nearby try grabbing your classmates leg and haul yourself up.  You could always try to stand up as if you were just learning to walk, which is what I end up doing.  It works, but it looks very odd.  Brush yourself off and then walk slowly into position.  Now would not be the best time to work on your leaps or skips.  Just steady slow, precise movements will do.  Once you've mastered standing up it's time to learn how to shuffle.

This is about as far as I've gotten.  The front heel/toe/tip thing makes it really hard for me to lift up.  It's hard anyway, but man it's 100x worse with the hardshoe.  Trying to lift my body weight over a toe heel by using my arthritic toes is almost impossible.  I may just have to take a Lortab before class next week.  

Did I mention the adult class is fun?