Tuesday, he was complaining a bit when I would call him at work. I wasn't quite sure he had a stone though. The pain is unbearable and he sounded like he had some bad gas. Uncomfortable, but not necessarily "kidney stone" painful.
Just so you know.....I'm always the one who is sick or has something serious happen.
Such as the time I was pregnant and began spotting during my 5th week and cramping really badly. I was still pregnant according to my doctor, but my "dates were off". Three weeks later I was rushed into surgery for a ruptured fallopian tube.
Then, when my 4th child was born, I began having severe chest pains. Rob took me to the ER after a couple attacks and they said it was my gallbladder. My tiny baby girl was only 3 weeks old when I had that sucker removed. I ended up staying in the hospital overnight because they were having trouble waking me up.
In 2005, my oldest son was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect that required surgery. Having spent so many weeks in the hospital clinics running tests for his upcoming surgery...not to mention the stress of knowing my baby was going to have his heart worked on got the best of me. We spent 24 hours in the PICU and another 4 days on the cardiac floor. I didn't leave his side very often. I ended up getting an undetected raging strep infection that made my immune system crazy. After several misdiagnosis' in 10 months, I finally found someone who could figure it all out. Sarcoidosis. Luckily, it hasn't affected my lungs, brain or other major organs. It might be in my liver (major I know, but still...it's not my brain!) and I know it's in my muscles and possibly my bones. I still have flare ups and will always have Sarcoid. I just like it better when it's in remission.
Anyway-I'm acutely aware of the "universal pain scale".
When he came home from work last night, I was in the basement with the kids cleaning up/organizing. He sounded like he was in pain so I went upstairs to check on him. I was thinking we should go to the InstaCare or ER. He said he had to go to the bathroom, that it was starting to hurt and he had to urinate very often. I heard him groaning and opened the bathroom door to see what was wrong. He had blood all over his hands and his boy bits. I *almost* started to freak out when I saw what looked like a blood clot at the bottom of the toilet. That is until I noticed the blood drips on the inside of the toilet. They weren't red, but more of a darker pink color. I then looked at his hands and noticed the bright red tint soaking into the skin of his finger tips.
I began laughing so hard and told him it wasn't even real blood. I even touched his hand and the ink instantly soaked into my skin, was thin, not coagulated and was turning dark pink. Coming from a woman who has been menstruating since she was 11 years old. That is not blood. Come on! Are you seriously going to try and pass off PINK blood? He was so mad that I caught him in his joke. He told me I wasn't any fun because I could have just let him think he got me for once.
Babe- I am the QUEEN of April Fool's Day! There is none better than me and you know that. Had you just played it off and let me drive you to the doctor, you could have totally gotten me. Instead, you had to add blood. Big mistake. That ruined it for you. I'm sorry.
In a way, you did get me, though. You received one night of just laying on the couch without me hassling you to do this or that. You also got a pretty decent back rub. Oh and because you were "sick" I decided early April 1st that I couldn't get you with a REAL April Fool's joke because that would make me cruel. I couldn't bear being cruel.
Just so you know. Next year is full on!
Oh, I do love you!!
Muahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
*Edited to add* That photo is not of me...that's Kathy Bates in Misery.
You know..to scare the poor fellow. He deserves it. ;)
This one does happen to be a photo of me. Cute, huh?:
